Brociopath: A human adult male (college-age or older) who has internalized the tropes and activities specific to fraternity life so thoroughly that such behavior extends far beyond the time and place during which it is typically deemed appropriate (or at the very least, forgivable). While the temperament of the everyday fraternity bro can often have positive effects (particularly when attempting to romance a sorority sister), when taken too far, these habits can be both potentially dangerous and incredibly annoying. Though different symptoms can be dominant in different cases, some common signs of brociopathy are:
A propensity for calling people “pussies”
A need to frame any alcohol consumption within the context of a game or challenge
Constant yelling and/or chanting
A wardrobe consisting primarily of pinnies, polo shirts, cargo shorts and either visors or baseball caps worn backwards
An allergy-like aversion to anything considered unmanly, including reading, having female friends and showing emotions other than enthusiasm or rage
A desire to incessantly quote an unofficial canon of “Bro Films” including, but not limited to, Old School, Anchorman and most Adam Sandler vehicles
The mental health community remains split as to the exact nature of the disorder’s causes. Some professionals believe that those who exhibit the above signs are in fact born with a higher-than-normal tendency toward douchebaggery in general. Others are of the mind that increased exposure to testosterone during the fraternity-pledging process and the brain damage caused by excessive kegstanding combine to produce the symptoms. Still others remain convinced that brociopathic behavior is actually a lifestyle choice, though this position has lost ground as of late due to its sheer implausibility. Unfortunately, no cure or treatment currently exists.
In a Sentence: “Jimmy’s friends knew they were too late to prevent him from becoming a brociopath when he kept interrupting everyone at the intervention to suggest that they all play flip cup.”
Bro-choice: The belief that one has the right, at any point, to sever oneself from one’s penis/shlong/lap hog/boy muscle for whatever reason, regardless of circumstance or outside opinion. Some of such reasons may include (but are not limited to):
Someone offering $100 for it
Fatigue from being inconvenienced by the maintenance and care implicit in the possession of a penis
The result of losing or winning a bet
Proof of one’s impulsivity and/or spontaneity to a skeptical friend or romantic partner
Similarly, members of the bro-choice movement have made a point of expressing their support for those who want to alter their bodies in a way that would allow them admittance to New Dick City (aka The Bone Zone). In a nutshell, the movement has established itself on the platform that dicks are a choice, so nobody should be a dick about having or not having one.
The bro-choice position has historically faced opposition from the bro-life movement, which posits that someone born with a bro-hose is obligated to walk around with it between their legs for life — regardless of the implications for one’s identity, comfort, or general feelings about boners.
In a Sentence: “Eduardo was unsure of where he stood on the whole ‘bro-choice/bro-life’ debate until he realized that both he and his pants would be much more comfortable if he removed the peen from the equation.”