Wordaholics - Brociopath

Brociopath: A human adult male (college-age or older) who has internalized the tropes and activities specific to fraternity life so thoroughly that such behavior extends far beyond the time and place during which it is typically deemed appropriate (or at the very least, forgivable). While the temperament of the everyday fraternity bro can often have positive effects (particularly when attempting to romance a sorority sister), when taken too far, these habits can be both potentially dangerous and incredibly annoying. Though different symptoms can be dominant in different cases, some common signs of brociopathy are:

  • A propensity for calling people “pussies”
  • A need to frame any alcohol consumption within the context of a game or challenge
  • Constant yelling and/or chanting
  • A wardrobe consisting primarily of pinnies, polo shirts, cargo shorts and either visors or baseball caps worn backwards
  • An allergy-like aversion to anything considered unmanly, including reading, having female friends and showing emotions other than enthusiasm or rage
  • A desire to incessantly quote an unofficial canon of “Bro Films” including, but not limited to, Old School, Anchorman and most Adam Sandler vehicles

The mental health community remains split as to the exact nature of the disorder’s causes. Some professionals believe that those who exhibit the above signs  are in fact born with a higher-than-normal tendency toward douchebaggery in general. Others are of the mind that increased exposure to testosterone during the fraternity-pledging process and the brain damage caused by excessive kegstanding combine to produce the symptoms. Still others remain convinced that brociopathic behavior is actually a lifestyle choice,  though this position has lost ground as of late due to its sheer implausibility. Unfortunately, no cure or treatment currently exists.

In a Sentence: “Jimmy’s friends knew they were too late to prevent him from becoming a brociopath when he kept interrupting everyone at the intervention to suggest that they all play flip cup.”