—AN OPEN LETTER TO ROBERT SYLVESTER KELLY FROM SOMEONE NOT ABLE TO MAKE A FIRM OFFER—
Dear Mr. Kelly,
Workaholics, the show, is a huge fan of your work, message, and aura. What you bring to the R&B, nay, the MUSIC world is unparalleled. Stages, amphitheaters, canyon rocks that make for great acoustics should be dedicated and named in your honor (if there are some already, that’s great, forgive our lack of research). We believe you CAN fly.
It is with this great respect in mind that the following plea is made to you, sir. Please, the Workaholics Tumblr humbly asks you to record an original R. Kelly song for Workaholics. It can be about love. It can be about sex. Loving sex. Sexing love? Maybe something about overcoming the odds. An inspirational tale of escaping the rat race. A ballad about that special Human Genius drug dealer in your life? Now it’s degrading into pitching ideas, and we apologize, we can do that in a more formal setting if you agree to the big picture first.
Maybe something about Waymond having the strongest will?
Sorry, won’t happen again. Unless you want it to. Much thanks for your time in reading this, which we assume could possibly happen, maybe you’re in an airport with free wifi and you got some time to kill. If so, we’re glad to give you a few minutes break. Now how about a few verses about Adam and Alice going at it?
The Workaholics Tumblr