I actually don’t have much to add to that.
The internet, in many ways, is the worst thing to happen to teenagers. It gave them the autonomy their pizza-faced egos were just begging for. Now they sprinkle in the N-word like it’s cheese on a… well, pizza.
Sorry, as you can tell, I’m really jonesing for some pizza right now. Which, conveniently, I can order online.
If it means I can order food without picking up a phone, I’ll take a buttram once and a while. That’s a price I can pay. As long as it leaves me money for the pizza.
See even more nonsense in the season finale of Workaholics, this Wednesday at 10/9 CT, only on Comedy Central.
It’s a scientific fact that right handed people use the left side of their brain… ARGO, right braked people would use the left side of their brain.
But Adam isn’t left handed. Huh. Maybe he’s just rusty since all that DUI stuff has left him drive-less for a few rotations of the earth.
Use either side of your brain with an all-new Workaholics, "In Line", tomorrow night at 10/9 CT, only on Comedy Central.
The rules for Drinking & Drag-Ons are far simpler than Booze Chess; but simple can be deadly.
Here are some customizable rules and add-ons for your Drag-Ons to take your next game to the next level:
- If someone fails to finish their turn, they must bring you pizza anytime you wish in the next calendar week.
- First person to use the bathroom loses their cell phone; calls and texts may be made and sent as the other players see fit.
- Roll the dice off the table? Whatever number the die lands on = PUSH UPS.
- Use a curse word? MORE PUSH UPS.
- Don’t finish your PUSH UPS? Take 5, catch your breath, then get to FINISHING PUSH UPS.
- Designated Beer Getter is the first person to roll a 6. As in 6 pack, natch. They keep this title until someone fails to complete their assigned push ups.
- Instead of a regular Doritos, try it with Cool Ranch.
- Failure to light a lighter in three tries means that person has to watch and write up a full report of an “NCIS” episode.
- When you run out of supplies, you take a break. See how your friends are doing, maybe they were only playing the game to spend some QT with you.
Workaholics. Rules. Check an all-new episode this Wednesday at 10/9 CT, only on Comedy Central.
Cocaine. Nature’s brain food. Without it, you could find yourself in a thought rut like Adam and Ders.
All outta booga sugar? Here are some other things that might help you think good yourselfs*:
- Provoke your neighbor’s dog
- Munch on some chicken bullion cubes
- Pick that knee scab until it’s in the shape of a cool scar
- Throw some cinder blocks off a bridge
- Call a random person in your phone, tell them you’re looking to poop
- Chillax Murder
- Mix a bunch of fruit liquers together, call it a “Fruit Basket”, chug it, then fight crime
*None of these things will help you think good, and probably should never be attempted in any way ever.
Make the good thinker’s choice and watch Workaholics this Wednesday at 10/9 CT, only on Comedy Central.
Hope Wall Street has enough towels to wipe their brows after they got TAKEN TO SCHOOL last night in "High Art", y’all!
And would you feel safe in a Yoga Studio right now? At a salad bar? Anywhere overly commercial?
The revolution will be televised. And as of last night… the first episode’s already aired.
Workaholics Runs on Penis.
Wait. That didn’t come out right.
Shoot, don’t say come.
Workaholics premieres "High Art" right now on Comedy Central!!! Go watch that, nothing to see here!!!
He’s not wrong… if anything he’s not being real enough, because You Also Only Realize You Only YOLO Once Once. Twice, if you survive the bungee jump/ropes course.
Live your life to the realest with an all new WORKAHOLICS. TONIGHT.
Very Funny. Watch What Happens. Characters Welcome. Check Your Local Listings.