Grandpa: The man who taught your dad how to be a Man.

AKA: Gramps, Papy, Pop, Pop Pop, Grampy, Granddad, Ole Granddad, Sir

You’d be speaking German and eating second rate grain if it weren’t for the ole fella who made it all possible.  The man who asked no more than respect and the big pork chop in exchange for the sweat off his soul and the ache of his bones.

Sure, he thinks you’ll break the remote control if you flip too fast.  He doesn’t get “those Asian foods, electronics, or people”.  He drives dangerously, and not in the accepted Fast/Furious manor.  The least you can do is cut him some slack, he’s trying to think and that damn dog won’t shut up!

In his day, people were more private than this Facebookie Twatter nonsense on the computers.   Face to face, that’s how people talked in his day!

His day isn’t over.  Not yet.

In a Sentence: “Visited my Grandpa at the senior’s apartment complex yesterday, he sat outside heckling people for most of the afternoon before going in to watch the channel that shows the front entrance to the complex until he nodded off.”

Man: One who is NOT, or incapable of, any, of the following—

(Not necessarily in order but the big tickets are certainly weighted)

1. A woman, meant only in the biological sense.
2. A coward.
3. Dependent on others for basic maintenance and services.
4. Working a grill.
5. Afraid of the dark, the uncertain, and/or spiders.
6. Unable to open a beer bottle using basic household items that do not include a bottle opener.
7. Parallel Parking.
8. Any two of the following: throwing a spiral, catching a pop-fly, ice skating backwards, opposite-handed lay up.  
9. Carrying the responsibilities of a son, a brother, a father, and a friend.
10. Taking a punch.

In a Sentence: “How about you take off your skirt, be a real man, and change your own air filter there chief?”