Stuck in Comedy Central Merchandise Development Hell, next to the Chapelle’s Show Rick James wigs and Tosh.0 penis-shaped Mayo dispenser. 

I’d say they’ll roll out next fall Fashion Week, if that’s a thing.  Seems like enough time for CC to realize they have a near Bear Coat-sized demand for DeMamp Camp shirts on their hands… 

Adam knows an all-new Workaholics starts RIGHT NOW on Comedy Central.

Do you? 

If you’re reading this, you do now.  Don’t lie to us, you read it.  It’s in your head and it’s not going anywhere.

So GO GET “Hungry Like the Wolf Dog” with the steel reserve of a stone cold DeMamp-With-the-Plamp.  Thank us later.  Thank yourself now.

Wake up!  It’s Workaholics Wednesday!

While Workaholics does not advocate drug use (ha), you’ve got a few hours before your brain landing strip gets a 747 of Workaholics touching down on the thought tarmac.  So do what it takes to keep ya head up in the mind airport, and barring any last minute flight delays, we’ll hit baggage claim tonight.  Together.

Take off with an all-new Workaholics and get “Hungry Like the Wolf Dog”, tonight at 10/9 CT on Comedy Central.

—AN OPEN LETTER TO ROBERT SYLVESTER KELLY FROM SOMEONE NOT ABLE TO MAKE A FIRM OFFER—

Dear Mr. Kelly,

Workaholics, the show, is a huge fan of your work, message, and aura.  What you bring to the R&B, nay, the MUSIC world is unparalleled.  Stages, amphitheaters, canyon rocks that make for great acoustics should be dedicated and named in your honor (if there are some already, that’s great, forgive our lack of research).  We believe you CAN fly.

It is with this great respect in mind that the following plea is made to you, sir.  Please, the Workaholics Tumblr humbly asks you to record an original R. Kelly song for Workaholics.  It can be about love.  It can be about sex.  Loving sex.  Sexing love?  Maybe something about overcoming the odds.  An inspirational tale of escaping the rat race.  A ballad about that special Human Genius drug dealer in your life?  Now it’s degrading into pitching ideas, and we apologize, we can do that in a more formal setting if you agree to the big picture first.

Maybe something about Waymond having the strongest will?

Sorry, won’t happen again.  Unless you want it to.  Much thanks for your time in reading this, which we assume could possibly happen, maybe you’re in an airport with free wifi and you got some time to kill.  If so, we’re glad to give you a few minutes break.  Now how about a few verses about Adam and Alice going at it?  

Regards,

The Workaholics Tumblr

This GIF can be seen as a metaphor for any of the following situations:

• Adam being “locked” in a “Vo” of “life expectations”.
• Adam being locked in a Vo because his arms don’t work; weak metaphor but why don’t his arms work (subtext)?  Could it be “life expectations”?  Or his double shoulder separation?  Only the finest English majors could write a 20 page paper debating these two.
• Our debt situation with China.
• Being trapped in a relationship, whether romantic or platonic, that you refuse to leave even though it’s harmful to your well being. Possibly because they live walking distance to the good bars and you’re saving a buttload on cab fare.
• Having sex in the middle of the night and forgetting who started it, then you realize you actually went to sleep in the wrong house and “who started it” is the LEAST of your problems, Craig.
• The jail from “The Walking Dead”
• Any jail situation, whether it contains zombies or not.  Maybe it’s one of those “life expectation” jails.

Break out and get loose with an all new Workaholics, “Hungry Like the Wolf Dog”, Wednesday night at 10/9 CT, only on Comedy Central.

“Help! I’m old and I ate shit!”

Blake’s costumed old man conspiracy was his latest age-defying undercover operation.  Unlike his failed attempt to get dirt on the whereabouts of Cee Lo Green/Reptar in “Heist School” this time he brought home the pill-popping bacon for his new friend/Grandpa Arthur.

What could be next for Blake in the VICE game?  Corporate espionage?  Panty raid?  Mascot stealing?  THE WHITE HOUSE?!?  

Tune in to an all new Workaholics to see what Blake’s into, and getting into, this Wednesday at 10/9 CT only on Comedy Central.

Meet Gramps DeMamp.  In all his Gun-1/Gun-2 glory.

You can see the family resemblance, in that the DeMamp men aren’t afraid to speak their minds, offend anyone within earshot, and mildly value kin over the current event they’re pursuing.

Makes you wonder what Adam’s Dad is like.  Big ole brash fatty like Big Fat (maybe George Wendt)?  Or colossal colossus like Gramps (Jackie Chan?)?  Perhaps one day, we’ll know for sure.  

Scope more episode highlights from “The Worst Generation” on the Comedy Central site.

Most old people’s stories don’t feature a ventriloquist dummy come to life, either, so, ya know. Better.

My Grandma tried watching Workaholics and politely said it “wasn’t her thing”.  But she used to watch The Statler Brothers on The Nashville Network, so what, she’s some great comedy judge?  I seen the Benny Hill tapes in your entertainment center, Grandma!  You ain’t fooling anyone!  

And if I decided to tell that joke you told me last Christmas about the little boy asking the teacher for raisins?  I’D LOSE MY JOB.

I lied, too.  Most of Grandma’s stories are about ventriloquist dummies come to life.  It’s not her fault, though.  She’s a witch.

Good morning.

The GIF is like a metaphor for how you feel this dank Monday morning.

Unless you’re a “morning person”.  In which case, I’m the Gramps in this sce-gnar-io.

Get punched in the face with an all-new Workaholics this Wednesday at 10/9 CT, only on Comedy Central.

Whether you’re playing pool or chasing tale, remember these three little words from “The Worst Generation” when you hit the scene tonight.

You can’t win… unless you Put It In.