Meat Fetus: In the simplest scientific terms, a pile of loose meat assembled into the shape of a human for means of sacrifice to a demon, god, or hungry authority figure in hopes of warding off their evil intentions.
A meat loaf brought to meat life, the ginger-beef man you CAN catch, the Meat Featus should not be assembled for any ole’ problem. To do so would lessen it’s impact, and take away power from those who need it most.
Didn’t finish studying for your Geography Final? Stay away from the fridge.
Pressed Sally Sue is gonna find out about Betty Lou on the side? Don’t turn to the deli counter to clean up your mess, braj.
Concerned your buddy is being inhabited by the spirit of a dead employee you are responsible for unleashing? Meat life begins at conception, and it’s time for you to get sculpting the ground chuck.
The Meat Featus success rate is uncharted, but amateur analytics point towards it being highly successful. You don’t see any demon-infested monster men on the news, do you? Ergo, it works. Or is working. Or will work when it’s most needed. We can hope.
We must have faith in the powers of the formed dead mammal pieces, otherwise, we’re just farting around with hamburger here.
In a Sentence: “We shouldn’t have streaked through that Indian Burial Ground, Greg; the only chance we have to escape poltergeisting is hitting up Fred the Butcher, building a Meat Featus, and sacrificing it to the god in question before Homecoming.”