comedycentral:

Ask a Professional Comedian: Erik Griffin

tehslaphappy asked you:
hey Erik, can you teach me how to grow facial? I’ve been trying for a why and I have no luck.

Trust be happy with your baby face, this man hair is constant maintenace its not fun. 

Anonymous asked you:
Teezy,If a girl and I get into a difficult situation involving handcuffs and buck naked nudity, Lets say I can’t find the key and need to be home by 11pm (Wife thinks I’m taking the sitter home) do I leave her and call the cops as a “concerned neighbor” or just get the Hell out.

You are a bastard first off! hahaha, I would not want to be in that situation! Since you are already lying to your wife, better keep that lie going and say the car won’t start or there was a thing that happen at the place with the stuff and get to a hardware store. 

Anonymous asked you:
Do you smoketh the blunt?

I don’t not drink or smoke. never have.

Anonymous asked you:
For Erik Griffin: Would you rather have to punch your face 10 times a day for the rest of your life or only be able to use the bathroom on weekdays? Explain.

Well that’s 5 days out of the week. I will fast on thursday, finish all the bathroom work on friday, hold it during the weekend and tear that toilet up on monday. I can’t be punching this pretty face.

Anonymous asked you:
How many headboards have you broken through in your bedroom?

Mental headboards are the way to go.

Anonymous asked you:
Eric, I can’t get hard for my ugly Jewish wife. What do I do? Please don’t say divorce her. Her parents are loaded.

Get in touch with other areas of your  sub-conscience to get turned on. Find some role play. You can’t be that shallow, you will never be able to fully enjoy the sexual experience of LOOKS are EVERYTHING. 

insert-naughty-thoughts-here asked you:
erik griffin my man!! how hard is it to avoid from acting as Montez in real life around others??

Not hard at all, if you met me you would understand Montez is just a very very small part of my real personality. 

Anonymous asked you:
For Erik: how many boogers will you be eating during your standup?

Its unfortunetly a booger free stand up set. 

burger—wolf asked you:
Montez, how do you conquer that sting ray coochie?

Confidence and honesty. 

anamericanwerewolf asked you:
Question for Erik (Monteezy) Griffin: Why do white people love smoovies so much? I just had one yesterday and it was delicious.

That is one of those secrets of the universe we may never know. But they definetly love those “SMOOVIES”

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Erik Griffin is answering your questions right now! Submit them here, then be sure to watch his Half Hour special tonight at 12a/11c.

How to conquer stingray coochie? What do you do when handcuffs in bed don’t work out the way you hoped? Who needs Wikipedia when you’ve got Ask a Professional Comedian with Erik Griffen?

comedycentral:

I call dibs on Beezer Twelve Washingbeard!

[via @SportsNation]

And they went with Barry Sanders? DeMamp not only has a touchdown dance, but he also has a pre-touchdown dance

It’s Friday! Quittin’ time.

Can’t go wrong with the Adam DeMamp patented “Come Hither” move.

YOU AIN’T GOT THE STAIRCASE TO STEP TO ME, CYBORG MONTEZ!

YOU A BITCH!  A BITCH!

Future: The time frame of existence that is always ahead of us.  

One never reaches their own future; but at the same time one is always living in the future of someone’s past.  Sometimes they look like Bruce Willis.  Looper.

In a Sentence: “The end of the new episodes of Workaholics Season 3B alters the future of the Workaholics Tumblr; but while it now assumes hiatus glory it will still be your source for all things Workaholics.”

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Who knows where Adam, Blake, and Ders’ romp quests will take them next?

Here’s a cool Time-Lapse video of Make Up artist Alexei Dmitriew turning Erik Griffin into CYBORG MONTEZ.

Yesterday we talked about how the Workaholics Art Department built the future; today, we want to focus on how the Make Up and Costumers built the people of the future for “The Future is Gnar”.

Make Up head Alexei Dmitriew took Maribeth Monroe to his laboratory and sculpted a likeness for decapatational purposes; because if you’re going to chop someone’s head off, it’s gotta look good.  Alexei did this while also juggling turning actors into meth heads into zombies for “In Line”, as well as turning our office workers into office cyborgs.  One bad powder coat, and it becomes a bad public access horror movie; instead, we got a believable scary as hell cyborg tour-de-force.  

Costume head Jerry Jaeger then had to find the right look for the office cyborgs, which he nailed down expertly; the real challenge lied in how to dress Queen Alice.  He managed to find an outfit from a famous film (not THAT Avengers…) that gave Alice that sexy-scary hybrid haunt.  It may not have been easy to wear, but it sure made a lot of guys send Maribeth some interesting reads on Twitter.  

That’s official shout outs to Alexei, Jerry, and their team of minions.  There’s still more cast and crew that could be shouted out for their work in “The Future is Gnar”, but even a paragraph here couldn’t capture the efforts of all involved.  You think those helicopters flew themselves?  

So thank you, once again, to the best crew in TV for helping Workaholics make one of the most memorable episodes of it’s run. 

Oh heeyyyyyyyyyyyyy!